Jennifer Goodman Linn You Fearless

Putting Everything In Perspective

I have been back at work for two weeks and I am happy to report that, on the whole, I have been very good at taking care of me. Work has been very hectic as there has been a lot of organizational change. My boss (the CMO) along with the CFO resigned the week before I got back and I had three resignations in my department since I got back to work. But, rather than stress out about it, I have been taking everything in stride. I have been working fairly long hours but they are not stressful and I have been the one making the decision to stay late if I need to. I have been getting to bed between 9-10PM every night, eating well and exercising. My first chemo cycle has been pretty uneventful. I think my body is in a bit of shock that we are "back to chemo again" but, with the exception of 1 really tiring day, I am feeling really healthy and strong. I have my "port" outpatient surgery scheduled for this Wednesday and I am really dreading it. For those who don't know, a port is a medical device that is inserted into your chest (right above your breast bone) and it makes it easy for the nurses and doctors to take blood and administer chemo on a regular basis. Since I don't mind needles, all of my chemo and bloodwork has been through the veins in my arms but most of my veins have had it. The last few chemo cycles have been very hard in that the nurses can't find a good vein. EVERYONE I know who has ever had a port says it is the greatest thing in the word. It doesn't hurt at all and it makes chemo so much easier. It looks like a little bottlecap in your chest and most people hardly notice it. I have been resisting it for a long time because I don't want yet another scar. However, I realized that I need to get over my vanity and accept that this is the right thing for now. The Dr's will keep the port in for the remainder of chemo and then I will have quick outpatient surgery to remove it. Dave and I got a real treat last weekend when Eric, Missy, Samantha and Ally came to visit from Chicago. Although they were only in the Big Apple for one night, we packed A LOT in. We went to Dylan's candy bar, John's Pizza, Central Park, the M&M;'s Store...and we still had time to watch High School Musical 2 in our apartment. Having the family visit really lifted my spirits as I was feeling pretty tired from the chemo. It also puts everything in perspective. Visits with family and friends always remind me why I am going through all of the chemo and surgery to begin that I can continue to stay alive and interact with all of the people I love. I will write again after my port surgery.