Jennifer Goodman Linn You Fearless

Just When I thought I was Out, They Pull Me Back In


Just when I thought I was out...they pull me back in - Michael Corleone, Godfather 3

Sometimes I equate having cancer with being in the mafia. You might not want to keep this company but sometimes you don’t have a choice. I was having Godfather flashbacks this past weekend.

Dave was getting ready to go to Israel for 17 days to play in the Maccabiah games. We were enjoying the 4th of July holiday and got to spend July 4th watching the fireworks from the upper deck of the Intrepid Air and Sea and Museum. It was beyond beautiful. The weather was great and we were happy.

However, I had been experiencing sharp pains in my lower abdomen for a few days. I never knew when they were going to come but when they did, they were excruciating. I had never felt anything like it.

Dave was worried and I was just frustrated. For most people this would mean, “Take some Motrin and see what happens”. For me, it meant I had to visit MSKCC’s urgent care facility. The words of my doctor rung in my head, “We are keeping you on a short leash and if you experience anything unusual, you need to visit us”.

So, Dave and I spent all day Sunday sitting around urgent care getting scans and check-ups. Thank goodness it turns out that I just was experiencing tendonitis (actually, it was my physical therapist who diagnosed me the next day!). I never thought that my recent introduction back to exercising would cause undue stress on my lower abdominal muscles. They are having a hard time keeping up with me after so many weeks of inactivity.

We were both thrilled to hear this news. It meant that Dave could travel to Israel with no concerns and that I could rest easy and take some Motrin. However, I couldn’t help but get sad over the situation. I am trying so hard to put cancer behind me…I am eating well, exercising, sleeping a lot etc. However, one little move and I am right back to where I started…the hospital, the injections, the scans.

I am mentally ready to move on but physically I will be dealing with this for a while.