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I love the quote, "You can't experience the highest of highs unless you have experienced the lowest of lows". I don't know who said it but I always remember it when I am having a particularly wonderful moment. I realize that the only reason I truly know it is a wonderful moment is because I have had many moments that were the stark opposite. I do believe that the heights of joy and gratitude you can reach are much higher if you have had some sorrow or sadness in your life.

So, the few days before Chemo Cycle #2 started were "the highest of highs". I had great energy, I was more mobile because some of my leg swelling had subsided and I got my appetite back. I actually felt somewhat human. I still was very achy and tired and had to take daily naps but I was able to get out of the house a few times for some meetings that made me feel so great.

I went to visit the Cycle for Survival offices and meet with all of the members of the team to discuss our progress and plans for this year's event. It was so energizing to spend time with the 20+ folks who work on this event to make it as effective and memorable as it is. It was so fulfilling to see that many of the team members have just as much passion for the event as I do.

I also had the honor of sitting on a Duke Alumni Panel for non-profit leaders. It was a wonderful 90-minute session where myself and 3 other Duke Alumnae who run non-profit organizations were able to talk about what we have learned over the years. There were about 75 attendees and it was a great night.

I even had a beauty technician that I found on Craig's List come to the house and give me a pedicure while my blood counts were high!

So, I felt really great…until about 2:30 on Friday when Dave and I needed to go to the clinic for Chemo Cycle #2. I started to sweat, my heart started to speed up and my legs felt like they were 300 lbs. I realized that I had a lot of anxiety about starting again. The fact that my legs are shrinking is a great early sign that things are headed in the right direction. However, I didn't want to subject myself to the pain all over again. But, I realized it had to be done.

So, we went to the chemo lounge. I meditated and listened to beautiful ocean music prior to the chemo and visualized the chemo coursing through my veins going directly into the tumors and helping shrink them. By putting myself in a peaceful mindset it actually made the chemo session go very well. And the steroids made me crave a burger and fries which Dave was thrilled about! I think I ate more on Friday than I have in the last month!

In the 3 days since Friday, I am doing OK. The symptoms are manageable, I just find myself so zonked. Today I literally couldn't do anything except sit in a chair and close my eyes until about 1:30. I guess I have to go with the flow. Tomorrow I am getting a blood transfusion which should give me a bit more energy to get through the toughest days (the next 5 or so). We will be doing a CT scan in mid December to get a sense of what's happening. We are optimistic but we also realize that there is a VERY long road ahead. Thanks for sticking with us.

My Cycle for Survival Story of Gratitude today is dedicated to my dear friend Wil Ashley. If you have participated in Cycle for Survival over the years, Wil needs no introduction. He is the self-proclaimed "Spin NazI' who ends the Graybar session every year. He teaches about 20 classes/week at Equinox that are always wait-list only and he is tough. But, on the inside, he is a big teddy bear.

Wil has been involved in Cycle for Survival since the beginning…when we were just 50 bikes in Equinox' Columbus Circle cycling studio. Wil is very committed to finding advances in cancer research and every year he works hard to "top" his performance from the year before.  Last year, he offered to match dollar for dollar, every donation that was received during the last hour of the ride. We couldn't believe that participants and attendees donated over $6K. Well, Wil decided to donated $10K! It was amazingly generous.

Not only is Wil a great ambassador for Cycle for Survival but he is also a great friend. Over the years he has inspired me when I am able to take his classes and he visits me when I am too weak to get on a bike. He dedicated the last song of the ride to me last year…Chumba Wumba's, Tubthumping. For those of you who aren't familiar with it, the chorus is:

I get knocked down but I get up again, you're never gonna bring me down!

It was amazing to have 1000's of people riding and singing to me and encouraging me to keep going. Here is the video if you want to get pumped up. It is a great workout song!

Well, this year Wil has really gone all out. He is the ultimate mega-team captain, taking over 12+ bikes and having over 60 of his cycling students ride on the When There's a Wil, There's a Way Team. He is hoping to raise a boatload of money and I am so touched by his actions and words. I

wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving. It is my favorite holiday because it is truly a time to thank everyone in your life for what they have done for you. Please don't miss out on this opportunity. Life is too short and we should be expressing gratitude every day. I know that just today I started crying because I was able to tie my shoes on my own (two weeks ago, I couldn't bend because I was so bloated).

We can show gratitude for big or small things…it doesn't matter. Just don't forget to sit back and realize how much good you have in your life. I know that Dave and I are so grateful this year.

My mother has a tradition where everyone who attends her Thanksgiving dinner writes what they are grateful for on the tablecloth. It is really fun to review what people write over the years. This year, Dave and I have decided to write the following:

We are grateful for TODAY…and for all of the friends and family who got us here. Day by day we find our way.

Enjoy!

I am happy to report that things definitely seem to have improved a bit since I returned from the hospital on Tuesday. I seem to have my pain management more or less under control and my thrush symptoms are definitely gone thanks to the antibiotics. As a result, I am able to really drink a lot more and get some of my strength back.

Dave has become quite the connoisseur at making smoothies for me. Sometimes he combines an Ensure protein shake with some milk, bananas and peanut butter. Sometimes he mixes orange juice with frozen mangos, bananas and protein mix. I am very glad that we decided to invest in our fancy Vita Mix blender a few months ago. It has really made quite a difference.

Although I am happy to report that things are a bit more stable than they were the week prior, things are by no means easy. My symptoms continue to be very unpredictable. Yesterday (Saturday), I was so tired that I literally could not open my eyes until about 1:30PM. I woke up around 9:30 and felt like I weighed 1000 lbs and that my eyes were glued shut. I felt back asleep and dragged myself to shower around 10:30 thinking it would wake me up. The shower took so much energy and I found myself laying on the couch after that complete devoid of energy. Dave and I tried to take a walk and I couldn’t even make it half of a block before we had to turn around.

Today, I am having a very different day. Although I didn’t sleep very well last night, I have a lot of energy. I went for a 30 minute walk with Dave (this hasn’t happened in at least a month) and my legs are not as bloated as they have been in the past. We came home from the walk and I took an hour nap because it took a lot out of me but at least we were able to get out and enjoy the weather. So, as you can see, life is very unpredictable.

Tomorrow I go into the hospital for blood work to see how my counts are and to determine if I need any “tune ups” before I believe we will begin Cycle #2 on Friday. I am trying to make the best of the next few days because I know that I will get “knocked down” again once we start cycle #2. One of the chemo drugs I am on is so strong that it’s nickname is the “Red Devil”. It proved that it is working on my hair cells because my hair started to fall off in clumps promptly on Day #15 of Cycle 1. I have had my hair fall out at least 7-8 times by now but it is always frustrating when it happens. I’d like to think that by now, I am fairly immune to it (I love my wigs, Dave loves me bald) but it’s never fun to touch your head and pull your hand away covered with hair. I quickly shaved it off so I could focus on moving forward and healing.

Cycle for Survival is in full swing. We have over 400 bikes signed up so far.  There are a total of approx. 900 bikes across all of our cities this year so we still have quite a ways to go.  If you haven’t signed up yet, WHY NOT?  PLEASE get involved.  My Thanksgiving wish is that more than half of the bikes are gone so please help me make that come true.

I have decided that I am going to include stories that have truly touched me in my upcoming blog entries. One of the most wonderful  benefits of creating Cycle for Survival is that you are constantly in touch with how selfless and beautiful people can be. Two cases in point:

• My good friend Jodi lives in San Francisco and has been patiently waiting for us to bring Cycle for Survival to the Bay Area. This year we are making it happen! In order to get people excited for this news, Jodi encouraged a spin teacher at her local gym to dedicate a class to me and announce Cycle for Survival San Fran (March 5th). The instructor used the playlist that I had created on last month’s blog and Jodi said the class was touched , inspired and ready to bring it on March 5th. What a beautiful gesture! I am including some pictures that Jodi sent me here. They really warmed my soul!

• My friend Gary has always donated to Cycle for Survival but has never participated. He read in my blog last month that rather than ask me “What can I do to help?” just get involved in Cycle. I received an email in my inbox a few weeks ago titled, “YOU ASKED FOR IT!”. The email explained that he understands that getting involved in Cycle for Survival is most important to me and he recruited his wife and his friends and they already signed up a team to ride in NYC. I was so touched by how proactive he was. He understood what I needed and responded to me.

I am so lucky to have such wonderful people in my life.

I will write again soon. In the meantime, I am enclosing a video that was created by the Cycle for Survival Team called “Jen’s Story”. It explains the origins and the importance of Cycle for Survival. Please share this with everyone you know. I find that when they see it, they can’t help but want to participate, donate, volunteer etc.

Here’s to a more predictable next few days.

In my last blog post I mentioned that Dave and I don’t like roller coasters. I have decided in the past week that I would actually greatly prefer a roller coaster to the “ride” that I have been given these past 2 weeks. You see, a roller coaster is scary but you can see what’s ahead of you (When does it rise? When does it fall?). Our ride seems to have no predictability.

I will have one “OK” day followed by one really difficult day. It reminds me of the Tilt-A-Whirl…the carnival ride where you are placed in a freely spinning car that goes at all different speeds and in all different directions.

I am writing from the hospital. I checked in to urgent care this past Sunday when I started to get increasingly nauseous and realized that my body no longer could handle taking all of the medications without a bit of a boost.

The major side effect I have experience from the new chemo we started this past Friday has been Thrush. Thrush is basically a fungal infection that grows in your esophagus and creates that “morning mouth”, stale, pasty, bad tasting coating on your tongue. It is very common with some types of chemo to get this. As a result you have bumps all over your throat, it’s very hard to swallow, nothing tastes good and you lose a lot of strength. I found myself not being able to eat or drink much the past 5 or so days, which was making me more and more dehydrated, and weak.

I am glad to say that we have gotten the condition under control with the help of some antibiotics and I am starting to be able to drink freely again (food is still hard for more than a few bites at a time). Unfortunately my body still isn’t sure of what to do with the fluid it is ingesting and my “stumps” of legs are very uncomfortable. Dave often has to help me put on my pants/socks and it is not a highlight of my day. 

One thing that has really helped me keep my energy up (hemoglobin) is getting blood transfusions about every 7-10 days. They may sound daunting but they are quite simply a pint of blood to help give your own system a little “pick me up”. Although I am really fortunate that I do not need blood specifically donated to me at this point, I am constantly grateful that when my Dr orders a transfusion (I’ve had at least 7 now), the blood is always available.

This happens because healthy people like you donate blood/platelets. I really urge you to give blood on a regular basis, anywhere near your home or at MSKCC here in NY. Here is the link so you have all of the info you need. http://www.mskcc.org/mskcc/html/11698.cfm

I was watching the ING Marathon on Sunday as I find it such an inspiring race. My very dear friend Kat ran in my honor and she finished in 3:32! I was so sad not to be able to watch her run but I did really feel like I was there with her in spirit. When she called me to tell me she had finished, I blubbered my thank you on the phone. I was so overwhelmed with love. I have been going through such a tough time these past few weeks and her love and support couldn’t have come at a better time.

We are headed into the last 10 days of my “chemo cycle” before we start this craziness all over again. We are all optimistic that things should become a little easier in the 10 days ahead as my blood counts start to settle back to “normal”. I still have a huge stomach that is constantly gurgling and providing discomfort but that is a given for now until the chemo can work its magic.

I am hoping to just spend time, sleeping and healing to the best of my abilities.

Despite our outgoing, fun personalities, Dave and I have never been ones to love carnival rides.

We are always the ones encouraging our nephews or nieces to try the “gentler” rides rather than the upside-down roller coasters or free fall rides. Perhaps this is because we didn’t realize we would be getting so much practice on “up and down” rides in our personal lives.

• This past week can only be categorized by lots of good and lots of bad. Since I always have on my rosy shades, I will start with the good:

• After what seemed like years of suffering, I finally got in to meet with the pain management team at MSKCC and they seem to have really helped with my quality of life these past few days. They took me off a lot of the “short-acting” pills I was taking and focused more on “long-action” patches that stick to your body and dispense pain relief continuously throughout the day. What a great decision! Don’t get me wrong, my pain is no walk in the park, but now I can sleep for hours during the night without waking up, I can sit in a position for more than a few minutes without fidgeting and I can manage to go on very short walks. For someone who really prioritizes their quality of life, this is making me a much more willing “partner” as we try to find treatments that will work on the tumors. 

• Because we started to get the pain a bit under control, I was able to get out of the house for the first time in 6 weeks to attend some short yet critical Cycle for Survival meetings. I met with the Equinox team for an hour to discuss their plans for blowing out the event for 2011 and we also hosted a “kick off” function to get people motivated to register, ride, recruit and raise funds! I had to bring my pillow and sit with my legs up during the event but I was able to speak for a few minutes. I am going to attempt to share the 5-minute speech I gave here. There is also a video that the hospital made called Jen’s Story that talks about the origins of Cycle for Survival and I will update that shortly. You can also see it at the Cycle for Survival website.  Progress has been good this year for the event. We have about 300 bikes signed up which is a great start. We have about 600 remaining among the markets (NY, Chicago, Long Island and the newly announced San Francisco!) Please spread the word and encourage your friends and family to sign up TODAY at cycleforsurvival.org.

• I was inducted into the Livingston High School Hall of Fame.  Although I was unable to attend the event, my good friend Jeanne Joyce and my father gave a beautiful speech on my behalf and my mother went to the high school and spoke to various student groups about the importance of giving back.

• Many of my friends have gotten creative in how they build awareness and support for Cycle for Survival. My friend/nutritionist Lauren ran the Chicago Marathon two weeks ago in my honor and my friend Kat is running NY next week. Kat’s son decided that instead of birthday gifts this year he would ask for donations to Cycle for Survival (see the adorable picture attached). And other friends in middle school have donated their hair to Locks of Love and have organized Jeans Days to raise money and awareness. 

These actions make me truly happy. It’s important to remember this “good” when unfortunately we learned a lot of “not so good” this week.

• We were optimistic that my lessened pain in some way correlated with the tumors shrinking, but this is not the case. We found out through a CT scan this past Thursday that the trial was not working for me, and the tumors have continued to grow. So, I am now off the trial. We spent Wednesday in Boston meeting with one of Dr Maki’s esteemed colleagues from Dana-Farber Cancer Institute hoping that he would have some new drug he is working on that I might be a candidate for. Unfortunately, there is nothing coming down the pipeline in the short-term that seems promising for my situation. 

Although it was very hard to hear another renowned sarcoma expert talk about “the tough place” we are in, we were happy that the two doctors brainstormed and developed a treatment to put me on now that we are hoping will be the magic bullet to stop the tumors from growing so quickly. So, on Friday, I started a two-drug chemo combination (1 intravenous drug that I will take 1x every 3 weeks and tablets that I will take for 5 days every 3 weeks). One of these drugs is very new to me so hopefully my tumors will be surprised and won’t know how to react. The treatment is pretty strong so I am likely to be very fatigued and nauseous over the weeks ahead. As I said earlier, if we can keep the pain in check, I will find the strength to keep going with the treatment.

• We also found out that my very swollen hips and legs are being made worse by a blood clot from the tumors pressing down from my abdomen. I now give myself blood thinner injections 2x a day to prevent the clots from getting worse. Luckily, I have never minded giving myself injections and it’s really no big deal at all. 

• I also am getting into the habit of needing bi-weekly blood transfusions because my energy and bloodwork can get so low. They sound a lot scarier than they are (see picture). They actually make me feel so good and immediately help me with my appetite etc. so I will continue to get them as my blood counts will likely continue to fall with this aggressive new chemo regimen we are trying.

So that’s how the week went. What will make me more comfortable? If the chemo can shrink the tumors, then hopefully some of the fluid will drain from my body and I won’t continue to weigh 25 lbs more than I did 3 weeks ago. If the tumors shrink, there will also be more “space” for me to breathe and eat (all things that you take for granted until you have no room for them).

The doctor in Boston said something that really resonated with me. Although it was not what I wanted to hear, he said, “The equation has changed. We are no longer looking for a cure, as that is pretty unrealistic. What we are looking for is a treatment that can shrink your tumors so that you can lead a manageable life and the tumors are not pushing on organs to cause a life-threatening situation.” Although this is hard for all of us to hear, please start thinking of “success” by this definition.

Dave’s parents are coming from Chicago in a few hours for a short visit so I will sign off. Please continue to send your good wishes and put your energies into Cycle for Survival. We love hearing from you but please refrain from asking specific medical questions or asking broad questions like, "How are you feeling?" which seem pretty easy to ask and really hard for us to answer.  Just be supportive and hope and pray that we can shrink these tumors with this new treatment.

I am hoping that the pain continues to be manageable this week and I can write again soon and manage short visits to our home.

Love, Jen

Hi everyone. Sorry that I have not written in a week.

I will try to write more often but no promises given how challenging the days have been. Perhaps I will just get comfortable writing much briefer blog entries so that way I am not as intimidated by writing.

The last week has been tough to say the least.

I started on the 2nd drug of the Phase 1 Trial this past Tuesday. The first few days were fairly challenging in terms of side effects (heavy nausea, strong reactions to food smells) but by Friday, I felt like some of those symptoms I had under control.

My abdominal area has expanded to about 35 inches so I look about 7 months pregnant. I haven't been able to get out much due to the pain but I am thankful that no one has made comments yet such as

• Congratulations, when are you due?
• Do you have a name picked out? or the worst possible comment I can imagine
• I thought you were sick…how great you were able to get pregnant!

A lot of the pain comes simply from the fact that my skin is being stretched so tightly across my belly and back. In addition to the tumors, I am retaining a lot of water weight so my lower back has a ton of pressure on it as well. I tend to get tumor fevers every early evening. They last for a few hours and need to be brought down by Tylenol. I asked my Dr. why is this so much more painful that what I imagine a pregnancy would be and he said, "When you’re pregnant, your fetus lives in a womb, your tumor is not adhering to a specific compartment of your body, therefore it is twisting and pulling on a variety of organs in that general area (colon, bladder etc).

I share this because any type of light-hearted analogy to my being pregnant right now or someone understanding because they had a "tough pregnancy" will not be appreciated at all. Thanks for understanding.

The hardest part of the last week has been accepting that pain can often be very unpredictable. I have tried to proactively manage my pain but there are still some hours that seem to take years to pass. When you wake up in the middle of the night and your pain is "9" out of "10", it takes a few hours to get back to bearable. So, this past week and even more so this coming week is dedicated to working on my pain medication plan and making sure that I feel confident that I have the "tools" I need to get through every day.

As I told my family and Dr. Maki, right now I can't see past my pain to even think about whether the treatment is working or not. It is very hard to be positive and optimistic about the days ahead when you don't feel like you have the pain under control. I am hoping I can write in a few days and this will be taken care of and I will be in a more positive place.

For those of you who have emailed, texted and called to visit, I am sure you understand that when Dave and I can't even plan one hour ahead of time, it's impossible to commit to visits. Although they do put a smile on my face, I don't need to see you to know you care about me. Any type of contact or communication will have to be at a very "last minute" basis and hopefully everyone understands this.

The highlight of this week has been receiving my zero gravity chair. I am very obsessed with this chair and it could not have come at a better time. The chair is inspired by the Neutral Body Posture studied by NASA during the SkyLab program. The recliner places the body in a virtually weightless position. In this physician-recommended posture, the spine, hip, and knee joints are on or close to the balanced midpoint of the muscles. This results in natural relaxation and minimum muscle tension. The zero gravity chair gives your neck and back a much-needed breather and allows the body to restore its natural balance. The power recline will bring you into a weightless and relaxing position in under 15 seconds.

Since sleeping comfortably in a bed is impossible these days because I can't lie on my back or my sides, I have been sleeping in the chair at night and it has been amazing. I included a picture of me with it here so you can see my new Best Friend!

Lastly, no matter how bad of a night I have or how long the days look ahead, visiting the Cycle for Survival website and seeing all of the activity makes me forget momentarily all that is going on in my life. To date, we have over 200 teams signed up. THANK YOU for those of you who have followed our wishes and jumped right on board. If you get disappointed because I can't see you, just spend the time we would have spent together recruiting a team or telling someone about the event and how much progress we have made on the medical front.

Because people liked my motivational playlist last week, I decided to "gift" you with another list of physical/mental toughness songs. Since unfortunately exercising is not in my immediate future, PLEASE work out with me in mind. And when you get zonked and sweaty and want to give up, realize how wonderful it is that you have the ability to choose whether you work out or not. What I would give for a great spin class right now. One day soon I am sure…as soon as we find that Light at the End of the Tunnel.

Think strong thoughts of pain-free healing this week! Much Love, Jen (and Dave)

"Tough" Songs – Playlist #2

1. Brave – Jennifer Lopez
2. Wake Me Up Inside – Evanesence
3. London Rain – Heather Nova
4. Shake It – Metro Station
5. Unwritten – Natasha Bedingfield
6. Defying Gravity – Idina Menzel
7. Some Day – Rob Thomas
8. Lose Yourself – Eminem
9. Chances Are – Five for Fighting
10. Love’s Divine (The Passengerz Mix) – Seal
11. Jump – Van Halen
12. I Run For Life – Melissa Etheridge
13. Keep the Wheels Turning (Cycle for Survival Theme Song) – Marlowe Stone
14. Bigger than My Body – John Mayer
15. Rain – Madonna
16. Mama Said Knock You Out – LL Cool J
17. The Pleasure Principle – Janet Jackson Specific

Songs that I have been Singing to My Tumor Directly

1. Hurt So Good – John Cougar Mellencamp
2. Goodbye to You – Scandal
3. I Look So Good Without You –Jessie James
4. Disco Inferno (Burn, Baby Burn!) – The Trammps 

Hi everyone. We’ll do our best to keep this short and sweet, yet informative.

Given my distended belly and back pain, it has been very hard to sit at the computer for very long. You probably noticed that I haven’t returned many emails or written lately in my blog.

The past week has been extremely trying for us. We have been at the hospital almost every day treating intense pain, getting blood transfusions, administering drugs to build up my blood deficiencies, and managing fevers. The tumors are pushing on many of my organs causing me to have severe back pains, stomach distension and significant water retention (I haven’t weighed this much since putting on my Freshman 15 at Duke!)

Trying to find some humor amongst all of this pain, we joked that this was the week that everything really had fallen apart; our oncologist caught pneumonia, our toilet broke and our cleaning lady quit with no prior notice. When it rains it pours (and it has been raining a lot which is supposed to be good luck!.

Given the pain and discomfort, it was frustrating but not surprising to hear that my tumors have grown dramatically since surgery. The first drug in the 1-2 punch of this new medical trial doesn’t seem to be doing the trick on its own, but we’re hoping to keep the symptoms in check so I can start the 2nd drug this Tuesday.

The doctor said that at this point we’re looking for a “home run.” If the 2nd drug doesn’t provide it, we’re considering a toxic chemotherapy agent that seemed to help me 5 years ago, and we’re also looking into other experimental trials. So the two things that we need now are for my symptoms to stay in check so that I can get by day-to-day and for the 2nd drug (or something else) to halt the growth of these tumors. Both are critically important.

As we have at other times when the going gets rough, we outlined some “rules of the road.” We do so not to be difficult, but rather because people say they find it helpful. We know you all want what’s best for us so hopefully this will help.

Feel Free to Send Well Wishes but Don’t Expect Us to Take You up on a Visit Request or Return a Call.

We love getting everything you’ve been sending – emails and calls with positive thoughts, photo of your family with a Go Jen sign, powerpoint slide with a message from your baby, pictures drawn by your kids, funny stories, songs, and everything else! However, please understand that we’d love to respond to all of them, but we likely won’t be able to do so. My pain changes on an hourly basis so to commit to a visit is actually very stressful because I never know how I am going to feel (you have no idea how frustrating this is for me). When and if I am up to it, I will reach out and invite you over. Please don’t take it personally and interpret that as I don’t want to see you. The best communications by far are when folks just sent a sweet note or voicemail and make it clear that they are thinkng of us and absolutely are not expecting or want a call back.

If You Don’t Hear Back from Me, Please Refrain from Immediately Contacting Dave for an Update.

In addition to attending my Dr’s appointments with me and helping take care of me, Dave is also researching other medical options. Needless to say, he is swamped. He loves hearing from you as well, but please don’t expect a response back if you reach out.

Don’t Ask What You Can Do, Just Do.

Many of you have offered to help us if we need anything, which we appreciate. But we’re lucky in that we currently have things under control and don’t really need anything (we actually look forward to some of the basic chores such as taking a short walk together to Whole Foods).

We have always tried to make it very clear that by far, the best way to be supportive is to register teams, raise money, and spread the word about Cycle for Survival (www.cycleforsurvival.org). Of course, this is not just about us – the latest statistics show that 1 out of every 2 men and 1 out of every 3 women will get cancer at some point in their lives. It’s very simple, we need to find more treatment options!

Registration for the Feb 2011 events just opened on the website so the time is now. In past years, we and the Cycle team had to take time out of our day to follow-up with many of you to remind you to register. Why not make it different this year and take the 5 minutes to proactively go to the site to sign-up your team now?

Before sending us an email saying you’re there if we need anything, please take a step back and think….Have I registered a team? Have I also organized a company team with my co-workers? Have I checked to see if my company would make a donation or match donations? What else can I do to spread the word? Remember, anyone can join the ride even if you’ve never been on a spinning bike!

I check out the list of teams almost every day, and it makes me so happy. We already have almost 100 teams signed up, which is a great start. If everyone committed to bringing in one more team this year, we’ll sell-out the 850+ teams in record time!

Please Don’t Mistake the Seriousness of this Email as a Sign of Defeat.

I am more committed than ever to beat this disease. Although we are in a tough spot, Dave and I are as optimistic as ever that the second drug, another chemo agent, or a different trial will be the “home run” we need. We are exhausted and drained, but still hopeful. Please join us by being optimistic yet realistic about the situation (a cheerleader jumping up & down screaming "I just know this treatment is going to work!" would not feel quite right to us; nor would a Debbie Downer who only sees death as an option). We are living the only way we know how to do so fearlessly – day by day.

Sorry that we don’t have better news to share, but hopefully we will in the future.

The one bright note of the past week was the visit of Dave’s brother Eric, wife Missy, and nieces Samantha and Ally. Although the timing was not perfect and I didn’t get to spend nearly as much time with them as I would have hoped, they gave me energy and put a smile on my face. Enjoy these great pictures from our travels around NYC last week! – Jen and Dave

I am sorry that I have not written sooner but it has been a very tough week for me.

I started the new medical trial on Tuesday and it has really wiped me out. To be honest, I can’t tell if it is the chemo or the fact that I am still very much recovering from surgery but I am very zonked.

I have been sleeping a ton and trying to take short walks and eat to get my energy back. I am hoping that the more I recover from surgery, and the more my body gets used to this new chemo, I will start feeling a bit better.

It’s hard to hold the Energizer Bunny down but this week I have been a bit of the “anti-bunny”. Dave joked around that he was going to take a video of me snoring in bed all day and send it to the Energizer folks telling them that my win was a big hoax!

The highlight of the week was that my parents got to accept the award on my behalf at the induction ceremony in St. Louis. I was really glad that they could attend the ceremony and be pampered for the weekend. Check out the great photos and here is a video of the ceremony.

http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/9855681

I was patched in remotely which was pretty cool. I will write again as soon as I am feeling a bit better.

Hello! I am still coming down off the high of the Today Show last week.  I had such a great time and it’s amazing what adrenaline and a fistful of Vicodin can do for your spirits! I felt so great that day that I assumed that I was going to recover really quickly from surgery…unfortunately, not the case.  

Just 8 days post-surgery, I managed to drag myself out of bed, take a fistful of Vicodin, and head to The Today Show for what I thought was simply a very exciting opportunity to talk about Cycle for Survival (cycleforsurvival.org). How could I possibly pass up this amazing opportunity?!

NBC extended the V.I.P treatment. A limo picked Dave and me up and brought me to the set to have my hair and make-up done. I kept on hearing rumblings about a “mystery guest” but I had no idea what anyone was referring to. Needless to say, I was very surprised when that mystery guest turned out to be MLB Hall of Famer Carl Ripken Jr. announcing that I had won the Energizer 2010 "Keep Going" Award!

It was such an exciting moment! I could NOT have done this without the support of each and every ONE of you who voted every day (sometimes multiple times a day!)  What is so fantastic is that this award has opened so many doors for Cycle for Survival. In addition to receiving a nice check for the charity, I am optimistic that you will see Hoda Kotb on a bike in February!  Also, Energizer as a company is going to create a satellite team and ride in St. Louis to show their support. There is also talk about my going on a media tour with Cal Ripken Jr. to help find the 2011 honoree.

All of this does so much for Cycle for Survival! Although all of the glitz is fantastic, it pales in comparison to how inspired I am by Cycle for Survival’s progress. To date, we have funded 13 medical trials and research studies that are helping find more medical options for people suffering from rare cancers like leukemia, sarcoma, melanoma and pancreatic and brain cancers. By funneling the money directly to Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center (MSKCC) we are dramatically decreasing the time from when an idea is conceived in the laboratory to when it can be administered to patients.

Giving millions of people hope is what it’s all about. YOUR votes have given me hope for the battle ahead.

I am including a blurb that was sent to all Energizer Employees announcing my win. So humbling…

She is the founder of one of the fastest-growing cancer research fundraisers in the country. She has raised $5 million in just four years. She lives every day with unstoppable energy and enthusiasm, and she does it all while fighting her own battle with cancer. Her determination, endless energy and positive attitude have transformed a personal struggle into hope for millions. What began as a battle with cancer has grown in to one of the fastest-growing cancer research fundraisers in the counry. She is Jennifer Goodman Linn, and we're proud to announce that she's our 2010 inductee into the Energizer Keep Going® Hall of Fame! Jen rose to the top of what was a record-breaking year for the Energizer Keep Going® Hall of Fame. She was selected from more than 1,200 entries and nearly 85,000 votes (30,000 more than last year!). And this morning, our winner was announced for the first time on national television! As part of an inspirational segment about Jen's story on NBC's TODAY Show, Cal Ripken, Jr. surprised Jen with the news she was the winner of the Energizer Keep Going® Hall of Fame.

I promise to write soon and fill you in on the last few days of my hospital stay, my upcoming chemo regimen and the slow but steady happenings of my digestive system.  Enough excitement for one day…I am back in my PJ's getting ready for chemo this Friday!

Hi everyone! It’s Jen. Thank you so much for all of your well wishes. I am sorry that Dave and I have not sent another update sooner but we have really been focused on my rest and recovery. This will be very short as I am still in a lot of pain and am finding it hard to sit in one position for very long. This hospital stay has truly been the best one yet.

An anonymous friend of mine pulled some strings and got me my own room which makes a huge difference. I also have had the most wonderful nurses. The staff at MSKCC is great but this is the first time I can remember that I have had 100% amazing nurses. They have all had a wonderful spirit and have been so caring. They have made these past 5 painful days very bearable. I also had a good friend unfortunately in the hospital with me at the same time. So, we got to go on walks together, sit on the sun deck together and hang out. It’s nice to feel like sometimes you are chatting with a friend rather than sitting in a dreary hospital in lots of pain. 

We have had some great visitors and we appreciate everyone who has visited or called to check in. This visit we are really taking it easy with regards to visitors and activities because I truly have to rest up for two activities next week…one I am really excited about and the other one I am dreading.

Let’s start with the exciting one. .  I am going to be on The Today Show this Wednesday, 9/22!

Please tune in to watch me sometime between 10-11 EST. I will be talking with Hoda and Kathy Lee about my story/Cycle for Survival. It is really exciting exposure for the charity and all of my doctors know that I can’t miss it! I don’t care if I am doped up and still wearing my IV Pole and hospital gown, I must be there!

The other activity that I am not looking forward to is that I will be starting chemotherapy next Friday afternoon. Usually we wait about 3-4 weeks post surgery to start chemo but we don’t have that luxury this time. So, I am going to be put back on the aggressive chemo I was on 5 years ago (that worked!) only 10 days post surgery.

We will likely do a few rounds of this drug until we find out when/if I will be placed on the trial Dave mentioned in the earlier blog entry. I am not looking forward to this but I must rise to the occasion. I am hoping to be out of the hospital on Tuesday and then I will be lying low for the next few weeks healing from the surgery and adjusting to the chemo. 

Please continue to email and write. If you’d like to go on a walk with me or come visit, let me know. As I said, I will be really lying low these next few weeks so it might be hard but if I can manage it, I will surely let you know. Have a great week and for those who celebrated Yom Kippur, may this year be a healthy and happy one for your and your families.

Here's a fun video Dave captured of my family celebrating Yom Kippur in my hospital room.