Fearless Blog

Dave and I wanted to thank all of you for the wonderful well wishes and prayers you sent our way for today's tests. Unfortunately although we know we have the biggest support network known to man, we did not get the news we had hoped for.

The CT scan revealed that the tumors continue to grow. If we were trying to find the silver lining, it would be that they are not growing quite as quickly as before…however, they are growing quickly enough that we need to try another option soon.

We will be spending the next week or so figuring out what option is best…likely a treatment in Europe.

We are planning on still heading to Chicago tomorrow for Memorial Day weekend to spend some time with Dave's family and get our mind off of things.  Please enjoy the start to your summers and treasure every moment with family and friends.

We will write again once we have a plan. Much love,

Jen and Dave

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This past week has been tough for me. The chemo has given me fevers almost daily and I find that I feel good in the morning but by about 4PM, I am ready to call it a day. I get very flushed and need to take a nap or lie down for the rest of the day. All in all, it could be so much worse so I am relatively happy with these side effects.

The chemo seems to be pretty tough on my blood counts and blood markers this time around. Despite the fact that I am eating well, almost every nutritional marker (sodium, calcium, potassium) is low and my platelets are still very low. My doctor figures this is just the chemo doing its stuff so hopefully we will just keep an eye on it and it won’t get any worse.

I was able to get chemo this past Thursday which made me happy. I really don’t like to have to take weeks off. I also received my …

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It has been a week of highs and lows but mostly highs.   I had such a wonderful time on Monday speaking at the American Airlines Women in Aviation Conference about Living Fearlessly.  As soon as I get videos and pictures I will make sure to post. 

I also got to see Priscilla Queen of the Desert on Broadway with my two good friends, Alicia and Kat, who I traveled with to Australia 20 years ago (I can not believe it has been that long!)  The show was fantastic and I highly recommend it to anyone who loves great music, over-the-top costumes and drag queens!

Sandwiched in between those great events were lots of Dr's appointments and chemotherapy.  The good news is that my platelets and my liver function seems to be moving in the right direction.  We will feel better if we continue to see improvement.  Chemo has been very hard this week.  I find myself so physically exhausted at the end of the day.  I fall into the deepest sleep for …

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It’s been a long time since I’ve written about some of the amazing people I’ve met along this crazy, cancer journey. Well, today I couldn’t resist because I have a truly beautiful story to share.

Dean Baer is an extremely talented artist who combines Abstract and Impressionism styles and describes his artwork as “Expressionist”. Although I think his artwork is truly beautiful, I had no idea who Dean was until about 6 months ago.

A friend of mine who was opening an art gallery in Seattle shared my story with Dean and he said he was inspired to create a painting for me. In the meantime, he introduced himself to me on Facebook and we began to be friends, gaining inspiration from each other.

The other day, I received The Red Door, an amazingly, beautiful, meaningful painting that was created with me in mind. It’s amazing how Dean intuitively knew my favorite colors and how this painting would fit perfectly on a certain wall and complement our home’s décor so …

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Dear tumorous cells that continue to make a comfortable home within my abdominal cavity:

We’ve known each other a long time now…It’s been almost 7 years since you first made yourself known during a game of tennis at our friend’s wedding in Scottsdale, Arizona.

You’ve been more or less a big part of my life since then. You might leave for a few months at a time but you always seem to return. I admit that I’m probably a pretty fun place to hang out…I have a great life, tons of friends, a great family, I laugh a lot and I feed you well.

Well, we’ve never had a hard-core negotiation and now’s the time. I’ve tried all kinds of different approaches with you. At first I was angry and tried to beat you out of me…not just medically with tons of toxic chemotherapy and invasive surgeries but with grueling workouts that I was hoping were too tough for you to handle. Recently I switched my approach. I’ve tried to partner …

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This past week had to be one of the longest of my life (and I assume Dave would agree).  Since I last wrote, we have spent about 90% of our waking hours meeting with, consulting or emailing with doctors and labs across the country (and world) to try to formulate a plan that we can be comfortable with.  There have been lots of hiccups and bumps along the way (like for the few hours we thought I had Hepatitis not realizing that when you test “positive” it just means you have had the vaccine before).  Good times!
As many of you know, not having a plan in place can be very stressful so although our plan is a bit “out of the box” because we’ve already tried so many of the more typical drugs, I was thrilled that we committed to it this past Thursday and started.
Partly because I am tired of talking about it and partly because I truly don’t understand all of the medical details, I will keep this …

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I’m not sure if I believe in God but I do believe that most things happen for a reason. For instance, I always think that it makes sense that I got really sick in the fall right after my family was able to enjoy a lovely week at our rented beach house in Long Beach Island.
It was as if some greater power wanted to give me that wonderful experience knowing that I would look back and cherish it often in the dark times ahead.
While I was in Arizona the last two weeks I couldn’t help but feel like that chain of events was about to happen again; that I was given this wonderful two weeks of R&R, healthy eating and exercise to prepare me for the tough battle ahead. I knew that I had my six-week CT scan the day I returned and I tried to convince myself that the bloated feeling in my belly and my slight potbelly was just because I was getting strong again and gaining …

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As you all know, I am a real ocean girl. However, the one thing I love more than the ocean is the sun…and you can never have too much of it in the desert. I have always loved Arizona and view it as a place of real healing. The dry air always makes me feel so much better.

We had a Linn Family Bar Mitzvah to attend last week so Dave’s family rented a beautiful home in Scottsdale for the week. We had such a nice time together. We celebrated my 40th in style with a special spa day for the “girls” (my mother-in-law and sisters-in-law) and a very nice dinner. I also got to spend a special day with my friend Kristin at my favorite spa of all time…The Golden Door Spa at Boulders.

I have decided to stay another week to focus on “rehabbing”. I am spending a lot of time swimming, eating well and spa-ing. It has been truly delightful. A much needed time of reflection. I …

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It’s ironic that right after I had the privilege of celebrating the gift of life and turning 40, my dear friend lost her battle at the way-too-young age of 25.
Alyssa and I met through my doctor at 2010’s Cycle for Survival. My doctor who rarely gets effusive about anything said to me, “You must meet an extremely special person.” That was the understatement of the year.
Alyssa was the most positive person I have ever met. Despite dealing with an extremely aggressive form of cancer near her heart, she never, ever gave up hope.
Her two last Facebook posts are symbolic of that optimism and cheer.
March 3rd – “Bad things are like waves. They’re going to happen to you, and there’s nothing you can do about it. They’re part of life, like waves are a part of the ocean. If you’re standing on the shoreline, you don’t know when the waves are coming. But they’ll come. You gotta make sure you get back to the surface, after every wave.”
March …