Fearless Blog

One of the many things I truly love about Dr. Maki is that he allows me to live the life I want. He refuses to let cancer get in the way of a patient’s life.
I remember the first time I met him in January, 2005 he told me that he would see me “exhausted because I was living my life to the fullest” rather than have me “live like a boy in a bubble and stay at home waiting to feel bad”. I knew at that first meeting that he was the Dr. for me! Since my original diagnosis, he has encouraged me to go the gym, go out with friends, work a full week and take trips to visit family and friends.
Many Doctors do not allow patients to travel during chemotherapy for fear that their low immunity will cause a severe infection. Dave and I were so grateful that Dr. Maki wholeheartedly agreed that it was good for our bodies and our hearts to visit Florida to celebrate Barbara …

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There is an angel who resides at Barry Hendrickson’s salon on 60th and Broadway. His name is Edward and he is responsible for “outfitting” me with my wigs both times I have had the unfortunate experience of losing my hair.
Edward cut hair for over 15 years and then decided to go into the wig design business because he believed it was a way for him to produce more creative work and to “do good” by helping people who lose their hair as a result of chemotherapy treatments. He is gentle, kind and can make you look and feel fabulous at a time when you don’t feel that fabulous at all.
Although I hate to admit that I am vain, the prospect of losing my hair was a lot harder to digest this time around. The first time it was a bit of a novelty and I had NO IDEA how long it would take to grow back. I finished chemo 14 months ago and I was finally in a place where …

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I have completed one round of chemo and I feel really good. This time I have chemo as an out-patient at the MSKCC clinic and it is so much nicer and easier than last time when I had to spend 3 consecutive days in the hospital. The nurses are wonderful (here is a picture of me with Heather who takes care of me every week).
My chemo regimen is fairly quick and easy. I spend the first Friday getting one drug (Gemcitabine) for an hour and a half. With the free lunch I get and the Law and OrderMarathon on TNT, those 90 minutes goes by very fast! The next Friday, I receive two drugs (another dose of the Gemcitabine and Taxotere), which takes 2.5 hours. This also goes by very quickly. Then, the following Friday, I get a day off before we begin the 3 week cycle again.
Like last time, I have been acutely aware of my body and all of the symptoms and …

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On Tuesday March 6th, I experienced one of the most amazing things I have seen in a LONG time…my mom’s acting debut in a benefit performance of The Vagina Monologues!
When my mom retired about 3 years ago, she created a list of things she would love to do while she is still on this earth…and she has slowly but surely conquered every single one!

Very high on the list was to do some sort of performance. Little did she know when she joined up with the National Council of Jewish Women that the play she would be signing up for was The Vagina Monologues! Talk about an intimidating way to get your feet wet.

For those of you who are not familiar with the play, The Vagina Monologues is an award-winning episodic play written by Eve Ensler.  Ensler wrote the piece to “celebrate the vagina,” and the play is a series of monologues with women speaking about various experiences with their vagina. Ensler sees the vagina as being a …

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So, on to the good news…when it rains it pours! Right after I found out about my cancer, I got a really exciting job opportunity that I did not want to pass up.
Ordinary people would never think about switching jobs right after they found out they had a cancer relapse but I decided long ago that I am not ordinary!
I approached my prospective boss and explained my situation to her (and the company). It was a great litmus test to see how comfortable I would feel in the company and how supportive they were of employees in general when challenges arose. The great news is that they could not have been more willing to help me through my “condition”. After I heard their response, I decided to accept.
So, as of April 16th, I will be starting as the VP, Marketing for Ann Taylor Corp. I will be overseeing both the Ann Taylor and Loft brands and basically be in charge of helping the company “present” themselves to the public.
I am …

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On February 16th, 19 days after we raised over $200,000 for cancer research, I found out my cancer had recurred. I had my routine quarterly CT scan and the results showed that two cancerous tumors have reappeared in the same general region as the first ones (the back of my stomach, near my pancreas).
To say we were shocked was an understatement. "What do you mean my cancer is back? I wrapped that up 13 months ago!" We all knew that 80% of sarcoma recurrences occur within the first 2-3 years, and that I wasn't out of the woods for at least 3 years. So, although stats might reveal that my recurrence was not surprising at all, I had moved on and was not ready for this! Cancer was a very big part of my life, and I knew it always would be, but cancer and I had finally made peace with each other. It no longer kept me up at night worrying. When I had a stomach ache, I no …

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I sincerely apologize for not having written earlier. Dave and I are still recovering from the amazing, unbelievable, 1st annual Spin4Survival! The event, held on January 28th, 2007, was a 5-hour indoor cycle-a-thon to raise money for Dr. Maki and the entire sarcoma team at MSKCC. My local gym, Equinox Columbus Circle, was kind enough to host the event and we had 5 of the most popular in-demand cycling instructors in NYC dedicating their instruction talents for the day. The event had over 300 participants and we raised over $200,000 for MSKCC!!! Unbelievable!
When this idea was “born” in September 2006, Dave and I wondered if we were setting our sights too high if we aimed to raise $50,000. And then, as teams joined, as friends fundraised and as the word spread about how important raising money for cancer research is…our $50,000 goal became a thing of the past. On January 28th, we were thrilled to present Dr. Maki and his entire research team with a check for $210,000 (with a …

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Hello,
I have not written in a while because I have been CONSUMED with planning a wonderful charity event to benefit the sarcoma research center at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center. The event will take place on January 28th, 2007 and is called Spin4Survival.
As you know, during my 18-month ordeal (multiple surgeries, chemotherapy), I never stopped exercising. It was the one thing that made me feel empowered, alive and willing to keep on fighting against this dreadful disease.
In fact, I became a certified spinning instructor during my cancer treatments because I found the cycling program, and so many of the instructors at Equinox Fitness (my gym), so inspiring. It may sound a bit cheesy, but I believe that spinning saved my life.
A sport that enables you to compete against yourself and no one else is tremendously inspiring when your body is falling apart inside. There were some days I couldn’t spin for more than a few minutes, there were other days when I could spin for two hours and felt great. The …

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It’s hard to believe that the summer is almost over. I have had such a wonderful past few weeks…playing golf with friends like Meg and Vishal, going to nice dinners with good friends and family, and attending the annual Goodman summer get-away in Wildwood, New Jersey. I’ve included a picture of Dave and I with our nephews both last year and this year. We’ve all grown so much over the past year…them physically and and Dave and I emotionally.
For the past 6 years, my mother and father have taken my nephews to the Jersey Shore for one week in August. It has become an annual tradition that Aunt Jen and Uncle Dave come to visit every time for the last few days. The weather is always beautiful and we always have such a wonderful time playing football and building castles in the sand, and going on rides on the boardwalk at night. This summer was no different, except that I found myself so grateful for begin able to make the …

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Hello! Dave and I are really enjoying the summer. The past few weekends have been wonderful…visiting the beach, playing golf and attending a Mark and Andria’s beautiful wedding in Portland, Oregon. My personal highlight of the wedding weekend was playing in the golf tournament and winning the prize for longest drive (it doesn’t hurt that the women’s tees provided a huge advantage and I was the only woman playing in the tournament!). It was wonderful to see so many of our friends from business school. This past weekend was also meaningful to me because it marked my “coming out” party sans the wig. I had been psyching myself up for a long time, but since I really am not that pleased with how I like, it has been very hard for me to go without it. Slowly but surely I have been going to social functions without it but I still wear my wig to work. I guess it is a type of security blanket for me. To be honest, …

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