Fearless Blog

I guess all of the excitement and craziness from the event has caught up with me.  I went to get my weekly “spa treatment” and I was turned away due to low white blood counts.  There isn’t really much the Dr’s can do about that except tell you to sleep and eat well and come back next week and try again. I was frustrated by this news because it has only happened to me 2-3x over the past few years.  Oh well, when you’ve had chemotherapy on and off for 4 years I guess it is bound to happen (I don’t like to admit that my body gets worn down more easily but it is the truth).  
 
So this week I am trying very heard to take it easy.  The 3 day weekend has been making it very nice. I have been spending most of the weekend catching up on the huge pile of tasks that have accumulated since Cycle for Survival completed (and the tasks that I haven’t paid …

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Dave and I have been looking to buy an apartment for a while now. However, once my cancer returned, we decided to put the search on hold.  We didn’t want to be closing on an apartment or in the process of moving when I might be having surgery or recuperating.  We also figured out that the buyer market should hopefully become even more favorable over time. So, long story short, we decided that although we weren’t going to be buying a place, we still wanted a larger space for the near term. 
 
Luckily, a bigger apartment opened up in the building and we had about 4 days after we returned home from vacation to pack up, paint and move into 
our new home…apartment 9D.  The apartment is really nice and now that we can look back with most of the moving behind us, we can appreciate it.  However, it was not easy getting there.  You don’t realize how much STUFF you accumulate until you are moving.  Dave and I purged a ton of …

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St. Maarten was just what the doctor ordered!  Dave and I were on such a high from the event that it felt a bit like our wedding!  We spent the entire vacation reliving special moments from the day and making a list of all of the things we can do to make the 2010 event bigger and better (is that possible?!?).
The good news is that there is really nothing to do on the island of St. Maarten so we had no choice but to do NOTHING.  The weather was great and our days consisted of sleeping, exercising, eating and reading on the beach.  My friend Kim gave me the entire T
 
wilight Series by Stephanie Meyer and I was addicted.  I got through the first book in 2 days and was so upset that I didn’t have the second book with me. Luckily, there was a woman on the beach who had just finished the second book so she let me borrow it.  Those books are the perfect beach read.

The vacation …

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Yesterday was beyond words!  Dave and I are about to take off for a much needed week in St. Maarten to recover and I am hoping that by the time I return home, I will be able to express our emotions into words.
 
Above is a great picture of some of the survivors presenting a $1MM check to the MSKCC doctors, and below is the link to the news segment that played on CBS on Sunday night. 
When you get to the page, you might need to click on the miniature box that has the Cycle for Survival logo that is located ABOVE the video screen on the left side of the page.

CBS Segment that Ran on Sunday 1/25 on 11PM News

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Check out the interview this past Sunday on WABC.  Good Day New York, Fox Business and New York One will all be happening later on in the week. Please continue to send the link and spread the word!
http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/video?id=6610828

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Dr. Maki and Were on WABC this past Sunday talking about Cycle For Survival. Check it out!  Hoping to be on Fox News, NY One and Good Day New York later this week.  Please continue to send the links and spread the word!

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Check these pictures out! An amazing, exciting experience. I will post the video of Nasdaq’s presentation and my acceptance speech as soon as I have it in digital format. Yahoo!

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I am sitting here reviewing in my mind the last week and I am wondering, “is it possible that with all that I am going through, I could experience one of the most wonderful, satisfying, successful weeks I have had in years?”  
It would seem odd that I would consider my first week back to work (after having a wonderful 2.5 weeks off) and my 2nd week heading into chemotherapy a wonderful week.  But, I must admit I had so many great things happen.  It serves as another reminder that how you approach a situation is often how the situation winds up.  I went into this week with a clear plan and I really lived day by day…and it worked out for me.  Here are some of the highlights:
 
Work Has Been Great
I went back to work on Monday with a bit of trepidation. The night before I returned, I had written a “rules of the road” to myself.  This was basically a set of guidelines that I was planning on …

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Today is Friday and I made sure to get in a good workout before Dave and I headed to MSKCC for my first treatment of Round #4.  Just as I was leaving the gym, the theme from Rocky came up on my iPod and I took it as a sign that I was ready for the fight.

The chemo was fine. It was a bit odd going back to where I spent so many months.  Although I felt liked I had changed so much in the past 6 months, I realized that little hand changed in the hospital:  the phlebotomists (aka people who take your blood) and the chemo nurses were all familiar faces and I was greeted with hugs and bittersweet expressions such as “it’s so great to see you but not here…”.

The chemo lounge on the 5th floor of the 53rd street clinic became my 2nd home for 16 months in the past and I am ready to make it my home again.  It is nice to be in …

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Although it is unfortunate that the cancer is back, the timing couldn’t be better. I was off from work due to the holidays so I was able to spend 2+ weeks at home taking care of myself.  I got a ton of things crossed off my “to do” list and I managed to do a lot of sleeping, exercising and reading.  It was just what I needed. 
I realized over the past two weeks that I was living with consistent, low-level sadness and anger.  I would start tearing up at the most unexpected times. Some of my favorites are:

When a really motivating or inspiring song started playing on my iPod at the gym
During certain parts of movies (that weren’t even meant to be sad
While visiting Edward, my wig guru, who confirmed that I would most likely lose my hair for the 3rd time
At Whole Foods when I bought sushi and realized that I most likely would have to severely limit my intake of raw foods over the indefinite months ahead

I know …

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