Fearless Blog

Just when I thought I was out…they pull me back in – Michael Corleone, Godfather 3
Sometimes I equate having cancer with being in the mafia. You might not want to keep this company but sometimes you don’t have a choice. I was having Godfather flashbacks this past weekend.
Dave was getting ready to go to Israel for 17 days to play in the Maccabiah games. We were enjoying the 4th of July holiday and got to spend July 4th watching the fireworks from the upper deck of the Intrepid Air and Sea and Museum. It was beyond beautiful. The weather was great and we were happy.
However, I had been experiencing sharp pains in my lower abdomen for a few days. I never knew when they were going to come but when they did, they were excruciating. I had never felt anything like it.
Dave was worried and I was just frustrated. For most people this would mean, “Take some Motrin and see what happens”. For me, it meant I had to …

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I was interviewed about two weeks ago for an article that was going to be about Lance Armstrong’s influence on cancer patients (see below). I was beyond humbled (and thrilled), when the article’s focus evolved into how I choose to live my life fighting this disease. It was extremely gratifiying to see how this report “got me” after only a 30 minute interview. I hope it matches with you how you view me as well 🙂

Lance Armstrong’s Hero Tag Applies to Jennifer: Scott Soshnick
Commentary by Scott Soshnick

July 14 (Bloomberg) — Truth be told, this column was supposed to be about that great athletic inspiration Lance Armstrong, the cycling supernova and cancer advocate who first whipped the tumors and then the competition.
Armstrong is pedaling, yet again, contending for what would be his eighth Tour de France title.
It’s an amazing tale of triumph, grit, determination and will.
Here’s another one for you.
It’s the story of Jennifer Linn, who is also a cyclist, albeit of the indoor and stationary variety.
Armstrong …

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I am two weeks back at work and so far so good. I have really been able to live up to the commitment I made to myself to live life in “balance” despite harried meetings, business dinners and lots to catch up on.
 
I have been able to keep the hours I have wanted to keep and have also been able to fit in all of my “Team Jen” apppointments (accupuncture, nutritionist, personal trainer etc). I truly enjoying my work outs and every day I feel like I am getting a bit stronger. I have al
so been able to sleep 8+ hours a night which is what I really wanted to make sure I did as I made the transition back to work. I am not sure how I am able to do it all but it is working so I won’t jinx it.
 
I think the key is that I have been really efficient at work (only attending meetings I need to go to, delegating more to my team and …

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When I completed my 4th surgery last month, I made a commitment to myself – that I would do whatever I could do to keep the cancer away for good.  Now, I realize to an extent that having a cancer relapse may be beyond my control. However, if the cancer does return, I want to be able to say “I did everything I possibly could to keep it from coming back”.  So, I have spent the last week visiting doctors that I have neglected and setting up appointments with professionals who I believe will help me prioritize my health and wellness.
Introducing Team Jen J
2 disclaimers before I introduce you to them
1)   I realize that I am indeed very fortunate to have the means by which to work with these experts
2) I admit that I am quite impressionable these days and will take advice from practically anybody, no matter how kooky that advice is!

My General Practitioner – I love this woman and I have not seen her since she did the …

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I was able to attend both my 20th high school reunion and my 10th business school reunion in the past month. 

Although I was still fairly fragile at my high school reunion, I was able to connect with so many old friends and family.  I was amazed at how supportive all of my high school peers were about my recent surgery and the battle I have been fighting over the past 4.5 years.
One of my friends encouraged people in our class to donate small prizes that could be raffled off that night to benefit Cycle for Survival.
I was touched that about 20 of my classmates donated everything from a case of wine to a personal training session to a beach house at the New Jersey Shore.  We raised almost $2000 for Cycle for Survival!
It was so nice of my classmates to do this. 
I also loved that I was able to reconnect with so many old friends and hear what is going on in their lives.   I felt that with many of my peers, we …

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A good friend of mine once said that what he loves about New York is that it is truly a city that “grows with you”.  He meant that it is a great city for single people when they are out of college (bars, clubs, co-ed sporting leagues), it is a great city for married couples (restaurants, entertainment, culture), and it is a great city for families  (festivals, Broadway shows, museums).  He marveled at how the city has changed with him.  I remember him saying, “no matter what happens in my life and how my life changes, the city is always there offering unlimited options.
I have truly seen a different side to the city over the past few weeks when I have been well enough to venture outside.  I have been able to enjoy so much of the city that seems to pass me by when I spend long hours in the office.
 
 I have fallen in love with New York all over again.

In the past few weeks I have rediscovered, and fallen in love with, …

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After MONTHS of carefully culling through all of our footage from the 2009 Cycle for Survival Event, I am thrilled to share this press video with everyone. I am so proud of it!  Please pass along to anyone and eveveryone you know.  And PLEASE put 1/31/10 on your calendar!  

I am headed to my 10th year business school reunion in Boston this weekend where there will be a formal case discussion around the future of Cycle for Survival. Such an honor! I am very excited to hear what people think.

http://www.youtube.com/get_player

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I had a long day at the doctor’s on Friday and I will start with the good news…
Good news is that the surgery was very successful and as of today I am technically “cancer free”.  The surgeons believe they were able to remove all of the cancerous cells (that they can see) and they are happy with the progress.
Bad news is that there is no real clear “next step” (we have been in this position 3 times before so it is nothing new, just not easy to hear).  We spent hours discussing the pros and cons of more chemo. Basically, more chemo will prolong the cancer from returning but it won’t prevent if from coming back if there are any cancerous cells in my body that they can’t see.  Given that I have been through so much chemo (and my body has really been beaten down by it over the past 2 years) we have decided to stop treatment (for the time being if not hopefully forever) and just monitor …

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Does it sound odd to say that I had a great surgery and hospital stay?  Rarely do you hear the words “great” and “surgery” or “hospital” put together but as I sit at home in the comfort of my bed (bed is comfortable, finding a comfortable position in which to sit is not), I have only good memories of the past week.
The more surgeries and hospital visits you have, the more comfortable you are with the way things work.  When I headed to the hospital last Tuesday, I had no fear because

I had “been there” so many times.  Dave and I went up to the 6th floor surgical check-in center at MSKCC and Carla was very excited to see me (that’s when you know you have been there too often!). She gave me a big hug and took me through the “drill” which I could recite to her by now.
I rested before surgery with my “Zen” Ipod mix. When it came time for them to take me into the operating room, I …

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As Dave shared in his blog entry right after my surgery, I have been looking for a “name” that properly summarizes my 4th relapse.  It came to me as I was leaving for the hospital at 5:30AM on the Tuesday of my surgery…THE FINAL FOUR!

My 2nd relapse was called – Second Time Around (implying that I am more mature and can handle it better than I did the first time J)

My 3rd relapse was called “3 Times the Charm” or “3 Strikes Your Out” depending on whether you look at the glass as half-full or half-empty

 
I have been working hard this time around at really saying “good bye” to my cancer and willing it away for good.  Although I don’t subscribe to this way of thinking, some people believe that a person brings on their own condition.  In other words, certain actions that one has taken in life might have brought on a physical condition such as cancer. 
This seems somewhat self-destructive to me. I like to say that I …

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