The Highest of Highs and the Lowest of Lows
A wise person once said to me "you can only appreciate the highest of highs if you experience the lowest of lows." I always think about that expression when I am experiencing either extreme of the spectrum: If I am having a particularly tough time I realize that I have experienced so much joy and this rough patch is sure to pass. Or, when I am having a really euphoric experience I truly soak it in because I know that it's only a matter of time until a low comes along. It's not being optimistic or pessimistic, it's just the way life works out.
This roller coaster of feelings could not have been more true this past week.
I started the week off so high as we were leading up to the Cycle for Survival event. We had great press appearances on CBS, WPIX, ABC Radio and NBC. We also had the opportunity to ring the NYSE bell which was a truly memorable experience. All signs pointed that Cycle for Survival NY 2010 was going to be bigger and better than ever. I was on a real high...despite these nagging stomach pains.
I visited my oncologist on Friday only to find out that those stomach pains are due to a fast growing 4" tumor in my abdominal area. The good news is that it hasn't spread and seems very similar to my other tumors. The bad news is that it is growing rather quickly so I need to start chemo immediately...5 days from the diagnosis. I needed to cancel my trip to Costa Rica that I was so looking forward to. Wow, what a low....
And then Cycle for Survival weekend was so amazing it was impossible to put into words. I am embedding a video here so you can get a sense of the energy and I promise to write in a lot more detail after the Chicago event. It was a "once in a lifetime" experience that we are fortunate to experience annually. We have raised $2.3MM and counting. I told everyone that I will walk into that chemo suite on Tuesday with thousands of supporters behind me and cancer doesn't have a chance. The best high by far!
I slept all day Monday to get ready for Tuesday chemo. I worked out on Tuesday AM and got totally pumped up for my 5th battle against this disease. One can't lose the irony that my 5th battle with cancer started on Ground Hog Day (I do feel like my life is a lot like the movie at times..."Haven't I done this before?" "What behavior can I change to get a different outcome?")!
I played songs like Tub Thumping, Don't Stop Believin', Stronger and the Theme from Rocky to get ready and I felt good. Despite the fact that I was starting chemo again, I was on a high...
Now it's Wednesday...the day after chemo and I feel bad. Nauseau and stomach pains for most the day make it hard to eat and hard to do much beyond write emails and watch TV (Thank goodness for Law & Order!). I am hoping that this will go away soon and I will tolerate the chemo easier like I have other cocktails in the past. Let's hope this low passes quickly.
Dave and I are off to Chicago tomorrow for the Cycle for Survival event on Saturday. I can't believe that we have expanded into Dave's home town! It gives me great pride to know that our gospel is getting so much awareness and support around the world.
I promise to write a lot more when I return. Thank you for being on Team Jen!