April 2011
Dear tumorous cells that continue to make a comfortable home within my abdominal cavity:
We’ve known each other a long time now…It’s been almost 7 years since you first made yourself known during a game of tennis at our friend’s wedding in Scottsdale, Arizona. You’ve been more or less a big part of my life since then.
You might leave for a few months at a time but you always seem to return. I admit that I’m probably a pretty fun place to hang out…I have a great life, tons of friends, a great family, I laugh a lot and I feed you well.
This past week had to be one of the longest of my life (and I assume Dave would agree). Since I last wrote, we have spent about 90% of our waking hours meeting with, consulting or emailing with doctors and labs across the country (and world) to try to formulate a plan that we can be comfortable with. There have been lots of hiccups and bumps along the way (like for the few hours we thought I had Hepatitis not realizing that when you test “positive” it just means you have had the vaccine before). Good times!
As many of you know, not having a plan in place can be very stressful so although our plan is a bit “out of the box” because we’ve already tried so many of the more typical drugs, I was thrilled that we committed to it this past Thursday and started.
I’m not sure if I believe in God but I do believe that most things happen for a reason. For instance, I always think that it makes sense that I got really sick in the fall right after my family was able to enjoy a lovely week at our rented beach house in Long Beach Island. It was as if some greater power wanted to give me that wonderful experience knowing that I would look back and cherish it often in the dark times ahead.
While I was in Arizona the last two weeks I couldn’t help but feel like that chain of events was about to happen again; that I was given this wonderful two weeks of R&R, healthy eating and exercise to prepare me for the tough battle ahead.
I knew that I had my six-week CT scan the day I returned and I tried to convince myself that the bloated feeling in my belly and my slight potbelly was just because I was getting strong again and gaining weight (I am back to 112 lbs…a full 15 lbs heaver than when I was at my low point which is great!)
As you all know, I am a real ocean girl. However, the one thing I love more than the ocean is the sun…and you can never have too much of it in the desert. I have always loved Arizona and view it as a place of real healing. The dry air always makes me feel so much better.